Open adoption 'makes families happen'

By Sue Odegard

What would it be like for an adopted child to receive regular visits from its birth parents?

Four much-loved children in River Falls are getting a chance to find out.

Open adoptions are those in which both the birth parents and the adopting parents are actively involved in all phases of the adoption process. It allows the birth parents and the adopting parents to make the critical decisions necessary to ensure the baby is cared for in the best possible manner.

In open adoptions, the birth parent or parents select the adopting parent for their child or children. They meet them in person and share full identifying information - their names and addresses.

Once a decision is made and the baby is born, the birth parents terminate their parental rights. They then have the option of ongoing contact with their child, either in person or through correspondence. The type and frequency of the contact is based on the mutual desires of the birth parents and the adopting parents, as well as the needs of the growing child.

November is National Adoption Month. Lutheran Social Services is opening up its Domestic Infant Adoption and International Adoption programs to couples who want to adopt a child.

Infertility is a problem for many couples who long to be parents. When paired with women who find they are pregnant and unable to care for their unborn child, adoption becomes a viable solution.

According to Jane Weber, a birth parent/adoption counselor at Lutheran Social Services of Wisconsin and Upper Michigan, Inc., over 1 million teenagers become pregnant annually in the United States.

Weber said at any given time there are about 100 families waiting for children to adopt through the Domestic Adoption Program in Wisconsin. About 70-75 are placed annually.

"We are looking for families who want to adopt babies, not the other way around," Weber said. "We tell people once the screening and application process is done, there will likely be an 18-month to 2-year waiting period."

Weber works with people who are willing to adopt through a number of programs. Open adoptions are becoming increasingly popular, she said.

"Adoption is a loving choice made by birth parents," Weber said. "It is their plan for their child, and only they can make that plan. They are in control of it."

In open adoption, birth parents choose the adoptive family, meet with them and decide the child's future. Some want letters and pictures and ask to see the child after it is adopted.

"Some birth parents want the adoptive family at the hospital when the child is born," Weber said. "Birth parents can name, see and take care of their child after it is born. Some name the child jointly with the adoptive family. It is whatever works for birth parents."

Weber said one of the main reasons birth parents choose adoption is because they want their child to be raised in a caring, two-parent home. Many feel adoption will give their child a greater chance for happiness and security.

"Over the past 10 1/2 years, I have been privileged to work with a very impressive group of birth parents," Weber said. "They are exceptionally caring and responsible young people, who loved their child enough to see beyond their own needs and meet the needs of their child because they thought that was best. They can take pride in their decision because they gave their child the gift of a family. Adoption makes families happen."

For more information, call Weber at 1-715-833-0992.